It has been a while now since I've been a high school exchange student and there is nothing I can do to go back in time and live it all over again, but I sure could move back to the United States and that's exactly what I did, about one week ago.

I've been receiving messages from friends asking "Where are you?" because it is getting hard for them to keep track of all the things I do and places I go to. January 9th I left Italy and I arrived in the United Kingdom, which is where I flew from when I arrived in the United States the 18th of the same month. So yeah, three countries in ten days.

Prior to Christmas, I wasn't ready to admit that my Erasmus was over - also because technically it still wasn't, due to the fact that I still had assessments in January - so I went back and I made the most out of my time there. I moved back to the States because I've been offered an internship at a video production company in Denver Colorado. This means that I get to live with my host family again and that I can bring the exchange experience to the next level: I won't have any program rules to follow but most importantly I will get a license so I will finally be able to drive places without being a burden to people. Instead of going to high school, having to deal with teen drama and all that kind of stuff, I will drive myself to work, get work experience in what I am studying and learn new things.

I've been back for only a week but it already feels like I've been here forever. It's unbelievable but I feel like I am at home and, honestly, I couldn't be happier. I've been really busy with meeting everyone again and reading the Colorado handbook. In fact, I've already passed the driver's written test, even though the department of motor vehicles still didn't issue my permit. If you are also considering getting a license in the USA and are over 18 you need to go to the DMV (no appointment is required - at least where I did it) and bring all the immigration documents, which in my case were DS2019, I94 form, SEVIS receipt, and passport. The only issue is that you need to wait two weeks from your arrival in the USA before you can actually get your permit, I didn't know that and so now I will have to wait until next week for that, even though I already took the test and passed it.

Anyway, hopefully everything will fall into place one day or the other. Lately, I've been thinking that everything happens for a reason. I thought about a few things that I was denied of a couple of months ago. At the moment I felt like that was such a bummer but, in the long run, it has been a blessing. Because of this, I will not lose hope and I will continue "a testa alta".

- Cris

It’s time for another goodbye. It seems yesterday that I’ve waved Denmark, yet today - or yesterday? I haven’t slept so according to my sleeping schedule it is still the 17th - I left Worcester and in a few hours, I will fly to the US, the country where everything started in the first place. It’s been a while now, but I can promise you that I will never get used to saying goodbye to the people I love. Goodbyes basically play a big part in my life as I am constantly on the move. If I have to be completely honest, I am kind of fed up. I’m tired of having to deal with the awful feeling that comes right after a “take care, keep in touch”. I want to find a place worth staying and spend my life at, and this is probably why I am moving for the fourth time: I still haven’t found one where I see myself growing up.

As I’ve been traveling whilst studying, my friends feel like I’ve been basically on a longish gap year because I’ve done things that people normally do whilst on one, but because I’ve been studying I don’t really consider whatever I am doing a gap year. This is why I actually decided to take a break from University once I come back to Europe from the States this summer. I want to have the option of moving somewhere without feeling the pressure of studying or having to be elsewhere after a specific time. I want to buy a one-way ticket and don’t even think about leaving. I want things to fall into place by themselves without having to think about them too much.

I am at Heathrow Airport now, have been for the past six hours and I still have four to go, then a ten hours flight. Ohh, the things I do. I’m tired though. I’ve been watching a couple of TV series, I’ve been listening to music, I’ve been napping for a couple of hours and now I’m passed security writing. I don’t know exactly what to feel. My stomach hurts, I just want to get on the other side, but at the same time, I still haven’t realized what is going to happen. I am conscious that I am not going back to Worcester, and that hurts, but being at the Airport makes me feel even worse, as if I were nowhere, like in a limbo or something. I normally love whatever I feel when I step in an airport. Usually, I feel powerful, energetic, ready to go. Now I just want to leave. I’ve way too much time and I end up just thinking about stuff.



“Home is where your heart is”. In other words, I’m literally heartbroken. I’ve left a piece in Italy, one in the USA and now one even in the UK. Sometimes I think it would be awesome to merge all my lives into one; to be able to live in an "x" place and have all my beloved ones within that same place ...but traveling comes with a price and this is why I’ve got a host family in America, best friends in South America, Europe, Asia and so forth. 

I spent my last day in England at Malvern Hills. I've hiked with the wind blowing against my face, I've stepped on fresh snow and I've looked over the countryside from the peak. I guess this is also why I feel a bit tired now; not only I haven't slept but I've also hiked a few hours before taking the train. To be fair though, I don't regret going because it was probably one of the best days of my British experience, a day I will remember forever.

...

I’m done with the sad stuff though, it’s time to think positively. I am headed to Denver because I will be an intern for a video production company. I will get a driving license and I will be able to finally get a 360° experience of the States. Stay tuned to see where all of this will take me.



To Be Continued.



Read also Bringing The Exchange To The Next Level.

- Cris

"I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight

I just need a moment in my own space

Ask me how I'm doin', I'll say "okay, " yeah

But ain't that what we all say?"

2017 has definitely been a good year for me, but I am a firm believer that there is always a chance to improve and this is why I am positive that 2018 will be even better. One of the things I want to start doing already today, that is January 1st, is quitting Social Media, at least for a while. I just think that Facebook is just a distraction, a virtual world where everyone builds a fake image of themselves. Everyone is so caught up in posting the right selfie, in getting the highest amount of likes or in bragging about what they have done the night before. I just realized that I don't want to be a part of all of this anymore, at least for a little while. I will be using Instagram because photography is one of my passions, but I will try to quit posting stories for at least a few days. As I always post pictures of trips I go on or things I do, people text me that they envy me and that they would love to have my life. Everything looks so easy behind a screen. No one ever thinks that behind all the fun there's also pain. People are becoming more selfish than they have ever been. They think they are the only ones going through hard times, but everyone has their ups and downs. Besides that, everyone chooses what to show and what to hide from people.. in other words, not everything you see on social media is totally true. I just feel like I don't even know my friends anymore. Just the other day one of my really good friends texted me and said she is going through a very tough time, but I'd have never guessed because she seemed like she was enjoying herself, but of course I was all wrong.

I want to quit Instagram stories for a few days because I want to be able to have a conversation with people. I want them to be interested in how I am doing and in what I am doing, rather than having them look at my stories. Once they look, there is nothing left they can ask me. They already know, don't they?

 I also want to enjoy myself more. I follow people that post endless stories when they are at a concert but it's just sad because once they leave the venue they probably feel like that concert never happened, they didn't feel it. I was once trying to take a picture of the stage and the outcome was upsetting. Everyone had their phones above their heads so my picture was garbage. Then I just realized that probably someone else's photo was also garbage because my phone was in their way. 

Social Media were supposed to bring people together, but the result is actually the opposite. I won't be quitting my blog, neither tumblr because that's basically my moodboard but anything else is more or less obsolete. I think this is going to be good for me. I will be able to spend five minutes more on Duolingo, instead of scrolling my Facebook timeline full of meaningless memes, which will bring me closer to one of my goals for 2018, but I won't spoiler anything. Keep on reading over the next few weeks and you will eventually find out. Have a Happy New Year everybody!

PS: A very BIG thank you because on Christmas Eve my blog has reached 1 million hits!

- Cris