I always cherish my study abroad experiences because they made me who I am today. I love traveling, cultures, languages, photography… I mean, I just love my lifestyle. But when it comes to saying goodbye, to move once again, to leave everything and everyone by saying “I’m not sure if I will ever see you again”, I kind of ask myself if this is all worth it. If it is actually good for me to get close to people and then leave them. If it is fair for me, but also for them. 

I’m extremely grateful that at only 20 years old I lived in four different countries but every single day I miss at least a couple of persons from each place and I feel sad that there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only call them on the phone, and that is only if the time change isn’t wild. Sometimes I even feel like I don’t play a big part in my friends’ lives because whenever it’s time for me to leave, their life will continue to be just the same as always, but mine will reset and start from nothing. Zero. 

Every single thing I do, every single person I meet every day is important to me, but for them, I am probably just someone who happens to be wherever they are at the same time, they already have a life in which I just play the part of an accessory they can live without.

I feel like it’s time for me to take a break; to quit being a nomad and finally find my place in this world. People say that traveling helps to find ourselves, yet I feel completely lost. I’m lost, yes, because I know what I want but I don’t know where I want it. I want to be close to my family, yet the US is the place to be for my career. Although, I loved being in the UK. I even wanted to move to Spain for the summer, but I will definitely not put myself through that if I will have to move again in the fall. 

I wouldn’t change my past because I wouldn’t have met all the people I did meet if it wasn’t for the fact that I traveled so much (just like I said in "Crossing Paths"), but I feel like I need to change. People always tell me that I am brave because I just grab my things and go somewhere new all the time, and it’s true, but sometimes I feel like I’m just afraid of commuting to something that doesn’t have a deadline. I’m having troubles applying for colleges but I’m sure I will find my way eventually, just like everyone else did before me. 

- Cris