Believe me when I tell you that nothing compares to what you feel when you have to leave your host country. Leaving is harder than arriving, a hundred times harder. No, actually, arriving for me was not hard at all! I've always dreamt of living in the United States of America and when the time came I just went with it! But, oh boy, was it hard to leave? Very. Was I excited to go back home to see family and friends? Yes, indeed. But leaving everything I have built in only one year was extremely hard. I was proud of all my achievements and when I was finally able to do everything stress-free, I had to leave and say goodbye. No more driving everywhere, no more drive-thrus, no more dinner out on the patio, no more Colorado sunsets... just, no more.

"You will come back and visit, don't be sad!" 

I will always be able to go back and visit, but it will never ever be the same experience as actually living there. I will not be a student anymore, my friends may not be there anymore, the students in my high school will be different and all of a sudden I would feel like an outsider in a place with which I used to feel well connected.

Of course I will go back, I would love to be there right at this moment, but each time will always be a bit different. My last few hours as an exchange student I packed my things, I looked around my empty room and I started processing my way out of the country. I kept thinking"I will be okay" as I was laying down. It felt like if all my memories were projected on the ceiling and I was there watching like a spectator watches a stage play. "Cris, we are home. We will soon take you to the airport." Right at that minute, I had to roll my things upstairs, look back at the basement as I knew I was not going to return, and leave.

All I felt like doing in the car was crying, but I held it in. I was looking out the window, trying to think of something but the fact that I was leaving. My American family was talking about things that didn't involve me so I kind of tried to listen to the conversation so I wouldn't cry.

As I arrived at the airport, I felt calmer. I was thinking straight. I knew Colorado was somehow my new home and that I was going to make my return there sooner or later, so I just focused on the fact that I was going to back to Italy to see everyone I had to say goodbye to the year before!

In fact... I've made it back.

Believe it or not, I did go back to Colorado. Twice, in fact. I spent two weeks there and celebrated Easter 2017, and then I went back there from January to June 2018 and did a three months internship in Denver. I had to get my first driving license ever in only one week, I was living in a different home, I was more independent, I wasn't a student anymore but rather an intern. Everything was great and I felt like if that was the best upgrade for my former exchange experience. 

Applying for a visa wasn't easy, finding the right internship wasn't easy, many things could have gone wrong... but they didn't. I had a lot of support from the right people that guided me so that I could follow the right path and I am now proud of how far I've come. If I was able to, so could you! The end of your exchange isn't the end of everything. You have the power to start something bigger and continue your journey, so what are you waiting for? There are loads of programs out there. If you need any help don't hesitate to click on follow on the right inside and leave a comment!

Read also: How to Take Over the Globe!

- Cris