Arriving in a foreign country on your own at a young age is definitely something hard to deal with, but what's even harder, according to me, is having to leave everything behind once your time abroad is up and you need to go back.

A few days ago I decided to read, after a long time, my old blog. The one I wrote prior and during my exchange experience. I must admit that it was a poor decision. When I was 15 and going on exchange was still just a blurry dream, I spent afternoons reading blogs of the current exchange students, to see what they were doing and get inspired, in a way. While I was reading mine I felt like I was reading someone else's blog. It's a fact that the person I was on exchange was different from my 15 year-old self, but now I can promise you that I already feel distant from my 17 year-old self. No doubt that we change every day but it is just interesting when you keep track of the things you do and think and go back to read all those records years after. That's when you realise that there has been an actual change. 

ARRIVING IN MY HOST COUNTRY...

When I arrived in the US I was incredibly excited. After 17 hours of traveling, when I arrived at my new home I couldn't fall asleep. I didn't want to close my eyes, I was scared I could wake up back in Italy. I woke up at 6 am, which means that I basically slept 6 hours or so, and before that, I stayed up for like 24 hours straight. I didn't really know what to do at that moment so I decided to set up my room and unpack my things. Subsequently, I went upstairs to see if someone was already up. My American parents were really surprised I was up at 8 am, they hosted 16 times before me and no one woke up that early on their first day. I was full of excitement and I went to wash the car with my American dad who drove me around the city to show me what it had to offer. It was amazing to drive through those big roads even though it all looked rural to me, very different from my hometown, Milan.

...DEPARTING FROM MY HOST COUNTRY

I can't really talk about just my last night in the US because I just cried my eyes out for hours, so I am going to talk about my last three weeks there. Even if they were the last ones, I was really busy. I had my last rotary conference, and that's when my friends and I started crying. It was a really emotional moment, everyone sang along and we said goodbye until... God knows.

The day I said goodbye to the most amazing people I've ever met, I stayed in bed. But then I told myself I had to live my last days to the fullest. I hung out with my American friends, I celebrated my American brother's birthday and I visited a new city in Colorado, Boulder. I went to Hawaii for about a week, I surfed in Waikiki and then I spent 6 days in beautiful Kauai. For my last dinner in the US, I decided to have Chinese food at a restaurant where we used to go really often. The interesting thing is that I had dinner with the person who I had my first dinner with, and I saw her just those two times. I got really emotional when my family was driving me to the airport.. Once I entered the car I realized I wasn't going to go back to my American home. My exchange was over. My American parents spoke with my American brother about other things, they probably didn't want to deal with the situation. That was the last car ride of my exchange, my last goodbye, my last human bean coffee. I kept looking out the window because I didn't feel like crying in front of everyone. I didn't want to admit it was over. I kept looking at the Rocky Mountains.. and then, before I realized it, I was checking in at the desk. There, I focused on the good things because I was tired of crying. Good things end too, and I had to be okay with it. I was going to see my family and friends after 11 months, how could I not be happy? But eventually, I took off and...

Then I arrived home, I spent 2 beautiful days, my best friend surprised me at the airport and my mom threw a surprise party for me. The day after my arrival it was my sister's birthday so I even celebrated that. It was amazing but then I started feeling weird, arguing with my parents.. I felt like I wasn't in the right place and things were falling apart. I was desperately missing my exchange...

Read more about "My Return Home".

- Cris