It's so good to read someone else had such a similar experience to mine and that I'm not the only one getting those questions and comments! It is something quite hard to go through and most people around you aren't aware of it when you come back. Hope you get the chance to travel and live all around the world, wether your loved ones understand it or not :) After a year back home, I'm getting ready for my next 4 years of college living in 7 different countries all around! GOOD LUCK!

"I don't leave because I hate you, I leave because I love myself" this is exactly what I kept thinking after being back. It's been 4 years and I got the chance to go back to the US and see my host family and friends in February and it was amazing! It surely wasn't the same as my year over there but when I came back home I felt the exact same way I've felt 4 years ago. I guess some places just never leave your heart.
I'm so glad someone can put into words the things I've been feeling all this time. ��

I have to leave the US and go back to Germany in two weeks and I honestly have never been so scared before because I know this is exaclty how I am going to feel and how my friends and family will react. Going back seems so odd right now and honestly also kind of wrong... Everybody in Germany always tells me that my life in the US is not my REAL life but isn't my exchange year as valid as any other year of my life? Why is it so hard for people to accept that I found and created myself a second home?! I know this sounds harsh but I hope some of you understand me... My life here seems a lot more real right now than anything and anybody I have in Germany...

My daughter Chiara posted a link to this when she returned home.I think you did a great job of summarizing what happens when you return home. After hosting 5 exchange students and speaking to them after their return the emotions are hard to express. I am going to forward this on for other host families in hope that we can see a glimpse of the struggle . Thank you and I will use this as a tool to help my kids...

You have no idea how much I can relate to this. It felt so good to finally read something that comes close to what I felt when I came back last year. Even my other exchange student friends don't understand. But the year I spend in the US was the best year of my life. Not only did I find new friends and a new family but I found myself. When I came back to Germany I was happy to be back but that feeling only lasted for a day. I missed my everybody, I missed the US, I missed my life. Nobody here understood. I stayed up late, I got up early just to talk to them. I cried and I was depressed but nobody over here seemed to care. They said that I had to start living my life again. And they were right but They expected me to forget about my life in the us. It was tough and it still is. My parents just shake their head in annoyance when I talk about my host family. I've lost a lot of German friends during my year abroad but I've also lost some American friends during this year. My heart still aches when I see my host sisters pics on fb with other girls. Yes, I'm jealous.. I want to be there.. I'm going back this summer. My host family is expecting a baby and I get to live with them again. I'm super excited but I'm also scared.. Like you said it'll never be the same anymore. I won't be able to walk down the hallway again, I won't sit at the lunch table with my friends anymore, I won't get to see all of them together.. It'll be different and It'll hurt but I'm still excited to go back. I feel like nobody has made this experience... None of my exchangestudent friends going back to live with their host family for a few weeks. I couldn't make it one more month without them!

woooooooow district 5440 & 5450!!!!!! Great job making the video shorter, and is amazing to know all the feelings that a year could be so wonderful, but so painful at the same time. My west Coast trip is starting tomorrow (8/Jun) and watch this video makes me more anxious thanks for sharing the video

so accurate. I lived in Canada a year as an exchange student and wanted to get into university there but it was way too expensive and not affordable to me. It's been a year since I came back to Spain... And it's being so so hard. I miss it so much.

This post is so accurate! I totally get you! It's been 3 years and i still think about my exchange year everyday... Plus, i've been on the same rotary bus trip 3 years ago and your video brought back so many memories :) Best trip EVER!

I would love to live something like that..,

Thanks for sharing your thought, I love the quote btw!

Hey Cristian really enjoyed this I definitely went through the same thing when I got home just last month. Already I'm looking for new experiences and opportunities just like you! You said you are going to Denmark for university, and I would love to do similar, is much more expensive to go go out of country because this is what I am worried about. Thanks!

I'm back in my home country for 2 weeks, I'm constantly fighting with my parents, friends etc... It's all so weird to be back, I didn't anticipate on such a culture shock of my 'own' culture, I miss brazil so much, and nobody seems to care... It helps to read this stuff, to know you are not on your on, thanks for posting this! I'm sure we'll survive and somehow manage to live between our cultures, stay golden !! xoxo greetz from belgium

I've spent one year in Switzerland and I'm back since two weeks in Argentina. I'm feeling exactly the same things that you are feeling, and nobody seems to understand. They just say you can't live always abroad, but what's wrong with that? Being back is weird, boring and stifling for me, so I'm trying not to get back to my boring routine here. Greetings from Argentina

Wow, someone finally described the AFTER exchange experience perfectly. I had a really really hate time being back in Canada from Germany and it was made more difficult by 1. Having to do extra classes to catch, 2. Having many of my friends decide they don't like me anymore, 3. Living in the country with no means of transportation. I felt so isolated and alone after my exchange it was rough. Even now, a solid year after I returned things are still very different than I anticipated them being but progress is progress. I can't wait to go to university and get to meet new people similarity to an exchange and try new things also. I'm really happy you wrote this post though because it's so hard to express all that and have people really understand the reasons for being sad and such after such a fantastic year. Great job and good luck with uni and future travels! xx

I'm just about to start my first journey as an exchange student and my emotions are finally starting to get to me. I know it's normal to be nervous, even scared, but do you have any advice on how to make it an easier transition to this new experience?

As a Rotary District Youth Exchange Officer, I appreciate the original post and all the comments that follow. Reverse culture shock is very real. We encourage all our returned students to attend Rebound Camp after they're back in the country--Rebound Camp is designed to deal with exactly what y'all are describing. At the very least, you get support for the new adjustments, and you certainly know you're not alone. Thanks, Cristian, and let's hope that more and more students will follow on the exchange journey.

I guess I was lucky to have parents who both went on exchange themselves. Luckily my family was very understanding for the most part. But I recognize your problem. I have worked a lot with exchange students over the last couple of years since I came back from Ecuador. What I can tell you is this: You need to adapt back just as adapted when you first went the US. And just like it was then, this works best if you do it actively. Thinking that this will happen on its own is wrong.
Arguably, this second adaption will be harder, since your surroundings already have a specific, preconceived notion on how you are supposed to be (since from before your exchange). Think back how you did it the first time, if it helps. For me, it helped that I started school in a new class and looked for new environments which I hadn't explored previously, like new hobbies, etc.
You also have to consider, unless you are really lucky, no one else around you will have gone on exchange. They won't understand your feelings unless you are open with them, and even then they might have a hard time understanding. Exchange is an experience which is basically impossible to describe properly, so never expect others to be able to understand you 100%. It is not that they don't care why you are feeling sad, the thing is: they don't understand why. So be open, be patient, don't fall in a hole and if you feel like you are slipping into old boundaries, redefine them.
Halfway through writing, I noticed that this post is already older. I guess I wrote this not only for your benefit, Chris, but also for the next exchange student to visit your blog. Good Luck

You just wrote the exact way I was feeling when I came back, people were telling me "You can go back ! And you can meet your friends again !" But no... Not all of them, not together, not as this student squad we were, not being 24/7 together...

Dude, it's so spot on. It's hard to have a conversation with friends and family back home on this topic because they simply don't understand, causing a lot of frustration.
I'll be back in Denmark in February. Hope you're studying is going well. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out!

Follow your dreams, go where your mind is at peace. We live not to survive but we live to achieve our dreams. Nevertheless, it was always our choice to be happy.

Life is too short for us, let's make it count by enjoying to the fullest.
Good luck!

This is a massage from my aunt to me.
"The best way to see the world is through education trip. Sharing between countries is more open because you have common goals"

Study well! Greater opportunities awaits.

"I don't leave because I hate you, I leave because I love myself"
Oh my God. This article is amazing. Thank you for puting this into words. I felt the same way and I'm happy I am not alone in this. Of course you can go back, but it will never be the same. Keep in touch with the friends you made there. When you go back and see them I'll promise you it will be amazing, you will have so much to talk about and so will they, and you'll cherish all of your time together. I even miss walking to school, who would've thought? (laziest woman alive).

Keep on writing!
Luz

I still have these feelings from time to time even though it's been 3 years since I did my exchange year! :/

Amazing article! Keep on going :)

I went on my exchange 2005-2006! It's been so long, but this piece still hit home for me! I've been back to my host country, Venezuela, 3 different times and sadly the country is going down the drain due to their current government. My city isn't the same anymore due to this and there are things I used to be able to do that are currently not safe for me to do there.
Many of my friends have relocated as refugees around the world. My host families are still there though and anytime I want to go back I stay with them, they fight over who I'm staying with and the friends that remain there also offer me lodging if needed. I miss my exchange, and I have traveled so much since then. Even though each time I'm abroad it's never the same as my exchange, I still learn amazing things about myself and grow so much!!! I wouldn't be who I am today without my exchange year. It pushed me from a quiet insecure shy person into an extroverted, talkative, amazing person!! I wouldn't have it any other way!!!! ^_^

Throughout the last decade I've lived in 6 different countries and traveled to countries more. I could have traveled more if I had done things a bit differently, however I'm thankful for the experiences I've had and I can't wait to see what happens in the next decade!!!

I haven't try this yet but i am looking forward to get the results and to see if i have won,but i know it will be not a exhange year in my life but it will be the life in a exchange year and it would be amazing...KOSOVO:)

Dear Cris,
I don't think I can ever thank you enough for writing this text. I was in the US 2012/2013, it's been almost 4 years ever since I've returned to Germany and my heart still aches when reading your text, longing for other people to read this, because you managed to describe my feelings so perfectly. Sometimes, I don't know whether Germany just isn't the right place for me to live or whether the true passion of mine is travelling indeed. But all I know for sure, is that every time I am here, I feel the urge to leave after a while. Sometimes I wonder whether it would've been like that if I had lived in the US for a longer amount of time. I never felt lonely there. I never felt like I wasn't supported in what I'm doing. I felt home. I felt like I found my place to be. I felt like ... I could accomplish anything in my life. And then you get pulled out. I've lived for the last 5 months in Spain after graduation. It was great, but still, I never felt as home again as I did in the US. Time helps to get over it. But sometimes, I still feel like there's a small hole in my heart, that something is missing for me to be complete. In times like these, thinking and reading your text really helps me understand myself. For that, I want to thank you. Thank you Cris.

I have been a host sister to multiple exchange students and I can most definitely imagine how magical it would have been for you guys. Even as a host, I have multiple memories with all my sisters from across the world. It's amazing how one can connect with people who don't even speak the same language. I have bonds that are stronger with the girls than with people I have known for years.

Our first exchange student just left last week and we miss him terribly. I have been reading your blogs and they have actually helped. He has been trying to readjust to his life in his home country and so I haven't really heard from him. Your blogs have helped me understand maybe some of what he is going through. Good luck in your adventures!!!

I love this article! It was so nice to read it last year while I was still hurting about my exchange in Vancouver, which finished in 2015. It was the best two years of my life. Returning to Turkey was the most upset I had been. And the part about "the thought of visiting not being comforting?" Oh, I can relate all too well. I visited Vancity just 8 months ago and it was... almost a completely new experience. Even dropped by my old high school, but felt strangely out of place rather than excited to be there. I am finally getting over the woes of having left, however... but only because I now have the excitement of moving to Toronto next month, and hopefully a semester in Japan in 2019. Hopefully us exchange students will never have to settle until we eventually want to (if ever). (:

CLAP CLAP CLAP!! Sooo true! I´ve been both a host sister and also did my Rotary Exchange in the US in 1998-99, long ago and I still remember very clear those feelings and how tough re-adjusting can be, and I always loved my home country Argentina, and my family and friedns. It´s just that you have changed and the rest haven´t. Here´s the good news for anyone going through this: you WILL overcome this, you will continue learning from this one in a lifetime experience and years after years you will still see new benefits and advantages from having done your year abroad -and surviving the return- in your personal and professional life. I moved twice after I was back, now I live in Spain where I am a rotarian and I truly hope my daughter will some day want to have an exchange experience and that I will have the patience and understanding when she is back.