It is well known that the experience of living one year abroad at a host family's changes foreign students completely, but what sometimes we fail to acknowledge is that also host families change.

Hosting a Stranger.

Every time I see that students complain about their host families I get annoyed because, most of the times, they do not make an effort to make things work. I know that it can be tough to step in a stranger's home, but think out of the box, think about the family that welcomes a teenager from abroad who was raised in a different culture. They also go through a tough time. Lots of things need to be taken into account when problems arise. Maybe the family doesn't know how to approach a teenager from another country. Students are the ones who moved abroad to learn the local culture, therefore they are the ones who should show interest in connecting with the family. Do not complain right away just because you feel like you are not treated well. Observe how host parents treat their own sons and then compare their behavior with the one they have when they deal with you. If you feel like you tried everything and still did not connect then you have all the reasons to "complain", but still do something about it. I just want to highlight the fact that it is not just hard for the student. This experience affects everyone involved.

Once the two have connected.

There is nothing more beautiful than establishing a connection with the family who's hosting you. Over time, your "host" family becomes just family and you feel part of it. Show them that it is important for you to feel that way. If you are having a drink, pour one for your host parents too, even if they did not ask for one. They will take it as a sign of attention. When I was abroad I slowly stopped calling my host parents by name, I simply called them mom and dad, because they were taking good care of me just like my biological parents would. Your host parents will feel appreciated and will remember you forever as the kid who changed their lives. Prior to your arrival maybe they just thought of hosting a foreign exchange student so that they could spend time with their sons or because they wanted to give it a try. Your job as a student is to give them a thousand reasons to keep hosting exchange students after you leave. When it was almost time for me to fly back to Italy, my American dad told me that he wanted to stop hosting because seeing me leave was too hard for him to handle. He wanted me to stay. I felt loved, which was good, but I also encouraged him to keep hosting because I was the seventeenth exchange student they had and this meant just one thing: they enjoy hosting. I did not want to be the reason why they had to stop doing it. If they kept doing it for years, it just means that they enjoy doing it. 

They are the kindest people I have ever met and I wanted them to keep hosting just so that everyone else after me could have the beautiful opportunity to get to know them.

It's okay if you don't connect, too.

I know that sometimes families are not great. Some of my friends did not connect with the family and there was nothing left for them to do then just give up, and this is sad. This is not how the experience should be for both the student and the family, but you can still have nice memories and turn your experience upside down. Try to make lots of friends, try to be involved in as many things as you can.

That said, you can still seek help if your host family is being horrible to you. I encourage you to talk to your counselor, organization or whoever you have been assigned to. Do not fear the person just because he or she is a part of the company. If you do not give it a try you will never know if you will get any help. You invested money and time in this, so it is your right to get help if the service you are receiving is not the one you were promised at the beginning.

- Cris