CRIS GOES ABROAD

It has been a while now since I've been a high school exchange student and there is nothing I can do to go back in time and live it all over again, but I sure could move back to the United States and that's exactly what I did, about one week ago.

I've been receiving messages from friends asking "Where are you?" because it is getting hard for them to keep track of all the things I do and places I go to. January 9th I left Italy and I arrived in the United Kingdom, which is where I flew from when I arrived in the United States the 18th of the same month. So yeah, three countries in ten days.

Prior to Christmas, I wasn't ready to admit that my Erasmus was over - also because technically it still wasn't, due to the fact that I still had assessments in January - so I went back and I made the most out of my time there. I moved back to the States because I've been offered an internship at a video production company in Denver Colorado. This means that I get to live with my host family again and that I can bring the exchange experience to the next level: I won't have any program rules to follow but most importantly I will get a license so I will finally be able to drive places without being a burden to people. Instead of going to high school, having to deal with teen drama and all that kind of stuff, I will drive myself to work, get work experience in what I am studying and learn new things.

I've been back for only a week but it already feels like I've been here forever. It's unbelievable but I feel like I am at home and, honestly, I couldn't be happier. I've been really busy with meeting everyone again and reading the Colorado handbook. In fact, I've already passed the driver's written test, even though the department of motor vehicles still didn't issue my permit. If you are also considering getting a license in the USA and are over 18 you need to go to the DMV (no appointment is required - at least where I did it) and bring all the immigration documents, which in my case were DS2019, I94 form, SEVIS receipt, and passport. The only issue is that you need to wait two weeks from your arrival in the USA before you can actually get your permit, I didn't know that and so now I will have to wait until next week for that, even though I already took the test and passed it.

Anyway, hopefully everything will fall into place one day or the other. Lately, I've been thinking that everything happens for a reason. I thought about a few things that I was denied of a couple of months ago. At the moment I felt like that was such a bummer but, in the long run, it has been a blessing. Because of this, I will not lose hope and I will continue "a testa alta".

- Cris

- Cris

"I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight

I just need a moment in my own space

Ask me how I'm doin', I'll say "okay, " yeah

But ain't that what we all say?"

2017 has definitely been a good year for me, but I am a firm believer that there is always a chance to improve and this is why I am positive that 2018 will be even better. One of the things I want to start doing already today, that is January 1st, is quitting Social Media, at least for a while. I just think that Facebook is just a distraction, a virtual world where everyone builds a fake image of themselves. Everyone is so caught up in posting the right selfie, in getting the highest amount of likes or in bragging about what they have done the night before. I just realized that I don't want to be a part of all of this anymore, at least for a little while. I will be using Instagram because photography is one of my passions, but I will try to quit posting stories for at least a few days. As I always post pictures of trips I go on or things I do, people text me that they envy me and that they would love to have my life. Everything looks so easy behind a screen. No one ever thinks that behind all the fun there's also pain. People are becoming more selfish than they have ever been. They think they are the only ones going through hard times, but everyone has their ups and downs. Besides that, everyone chooses what to show and what to hide from people.. in other words, not everything you see on social media is totally true. I just feel like I don't even know my friends anymore. Just the other day one of my really good friends texted me and said she is going through a very tough time, but I'd have never guessed because she seemed like she was enjoying herself, but of course I was all wrong.

I want to quit Instagram stories for a few days because I want to be able to have a conversation with people. I want them to be interested in how I am doing and in what I am doing, rather than having them look at my stories. Once they look, there is nothing left they can ask me. They already know, don't they?

 I also want to enjoy myself more. I follow people that post endless stories when they are at a concert but it's just sad because once they leave the venue they probably feel like that concert never happened, they didn't feel it. I was once trying to take a picture of the stage and the outcome was upsetting. Everyone had their phones above their heads so my picture was garbage. Then I just realized that probably someone else's photo was also garbage because my phone was in their way. 

Social Media were supposed to bring people together, but the result is actually the opposite. I won't be quitting my blog, neither tumblr because that's basically my moodboard but anything else is more or less obsolete. I think this is going to be good for me. I will be able to spend five minutes more on Duolingo, instead of scrolling my Facebook timeline full of meaningless memes, which will bring me closer to one of my goals for 2018, but I won't spoiler anything. Keep on reading over the next few weeks and you will eventually find out. Have a Happy New Year everybody!

PS: A very BIG thank you because on Christmas Eve my blog has reached 1 million hits!

- Cris

If you haven't had enough of me already and you are still here, today I will just summarize this past whole year in... a blog post. I kicked off 2017 with my family, at my parent's restaurant. Everyone was worried because I was not doing anything special with friends and stuff when the truth is I simply wanted to be home for the holidays, as I was living in Denmark at the moment. Then, something like ten days into the new year, I flew into Hamburg Germany and met one of my really good friends from my high school exchange in the USA. I spent the night and then I took the train up North and started University again until I went to Colorado for my spring break. It was good to be back and see everyone. My daily routine was pretty basic in Denmark. If I was not at Uni, I was working, and if I was not working I was hanging out with my couple of friends. 

As everyone says that at least once a year people need to go somewhere new, my best friend and I went to Madrid Spain for four days, and we loved it. I fell in love with Spanish and the culture and I can't wait to be back. From then, I spent the summer in Italy. A few friends came to visit me, I went to the South to visit my grandparents, and then in September I packed my bags and moved once again. This time my country of choice was the United Kingdom. In the spring, it has been hard to choose between Spain and the UK. Looking back now, I regret nothing. I am really happy I chose the UK for this amazing experience and I wouldn't change a single thing. 

People think that now I am used to moving around and traveling to the point that I don't even realize I am changing, but it's not true. I do realize it, and I embrace it. For the past four years, I've been living in four different countries, but each experience has taught me different things. All of these transfers seem similar yet they are so different:

I arrived in the USA with a basic knowledge of English and I lived with strangers. 

In Denmark, I had to translate the contract of the studio apartment I shared with a stranger from Danish to English, and I was employed for the first time. 

In the UK, I lived "alone" for the first time, I studied and worked while I tried to socialize with all the local and Erasmus students. 

Five years ago I was a 15-year-old who didn't speak a word of English, only visited one country and didn't trust himself. Today I am a (more) confident 20-year-old who speaks nearly three languages, has lived in four different countries and has landed an internship in the USA.

I won't spoiler my plans for 2018 but I will definitely write them down on January 1st and then I will read that piece of paper every day to remind myself that I need to work hard to achieve whatever goals I set. This method actually works. I remember that last year I wrote a list of things I wanted to do in 2017 and forgot about it. A few months past, I found it somewhere and I was amazed by the fact that I forgot half of those. It's so weird to see how our priorities change in such a short period of time. I don't want to commit the same mistake. I want to focus on my goals and achieve them. My 2017 has been good, but I hope that my 2018 can be even better.

- Cris

These past few days have been amazing, leaving aside all the assignments that I am procrastinating on and that are due in January. I’ve worked a lot, I’ve been out a lot, and I regret nothing. I spent quite some cash without thinking straight, but I thought that after all the hard work I deserved to enjoy my Erasmus a bit more before it finally gets to an end.
 Last night after work I went to the pub with some of my colleagues for “a couple” of drinks. 

They basically became my second family here in the UK, given the fact that I spent most of my day at Tiger than I did at home. I haven’t had the chance to have deep conversations with everyone but I did have the opportunity to get to know them fairly well. I really enjoyed last night, even though I just remember being loud and annoying to my friends (too many drinks, perhaps). I enjoyed myself but I was also worried I was going to miss my train at 6 in the morning. I still had lots of stuff to do, like finish packing and printing off some documents e.g. my boarding pass (ended up printing off nothing). Thankfully I did most of my packing on Sunday because if not I’d have had issues. As soon as I got home I threw some more stuff inside my luggage, rested for a couple of hours at the most and then I got up, took a shower, fixed some breakfast (or dinner?) and then left at about 5.30.

I’m currently at the Liverpool John Lennon Airport looking out the window, with my tired eyes, a headache, and a nice travel pillow from Secret Santa around my neck. I will never get tired of looking at airplanes taking off and landing. As they come and go my mind travels with them and that makes me happy.

At the beginning of my Erasmus, I thought that this was just going to be like one of the many experiences I lived in the past and I am yet to live, but it turned out to be a very special one and I am honestly not ready to say goodbye to the UK, nor my friends. I was planning on not coming back in January, but I am really glad that I was basically forced to because it would have been really sad to leave for good today.
In a month I will be in the USA for my internship in video production and I can’t express how excited I am to return “home”, but it is definitely going to be hard to say goodbye to Worcester, my international friends, my colleagues, the UK.

December 19th, 2017

- Cris