CRIS GOES ABROAD

Having to leave everything that is familiar to you can be terrifying, especially when you are doing so to go live at a stranger's house. I get it, we've all been through it. I had the privilege to meet my host family prior to my exchange as they were traveling to Europe for the summer, so that was my luck. I know that not a lot of students can say the same, but it is always worth it to go abroad with an open mind and positive thoughts anyway. Our happy thinking sometimes isn't enough and we do end up feeling like we don't belong, homesick or lonely. Fear no more, I have the perfect TV series to keep you company.

The Fosters.

When I didn't feel particularly up to do much during my exchange, I'd watch a lot of tv series. That isn't because I wasn't enjoying my experience, but that's just who I am. I am attracted to the film industry and tv in general. One of the shows that particularly kept me company while I was gone on my exchange was The Fosters. As the title may spoil, the series talk about foster care, and beyond. The main characters fight unhealthy social systems, spreading the message that everyone is loved and welcome to be whoever they are. Two lesbians open their doors to many foster kids who over the years, as the story evolves, get officially adopted by these two incredible women. 

The story covers heavy topics, like cancer, lgbtq+ stories, gun violence, stalkers, broken hearts, mental health, and insecurities of all sorts. Unfortunately, we can relate, to some extent, to a lot of these things, but the bottom line is that we can go through everything if we stick together and help each other out. This incredible family kept me company over the years. I've watched the show when I was in the United States of America as an exchange student, but also when I was home in Italy, studying in Denmark or in the United Kingdom. I've felt lonely sometimes, I didn't have much money to go out and do things, so I'd stay home and binge-watch. Some people can't do that, but I discovered that I can and I'm not afraid to say that this series gifted me many smiles when I needed them.

How does this show relates to people being on an exchange you say? Well, I think about my host parents. They opened up their home to me and many more exchange students over the years. Doing that enables many things. When they welcomed me to their house, shared their belonging and food with me, we established a relationship that is now unbreakable. It is obviously very different from fostering someone who has been through the system, but these experiences have something in common: trust. It's hard to believe that people are willing to share what they have (e.g. a home) with someone they don't already trust - but that is why we have time. We spend time with each other and we learn things about one another. 

I really learned a lot watching The Fosters and I hope that I somehow influenced you because it's worth a watch. It's currently not on Netflix. Its network is the former ABC Family, now Freeform, but I'm sure that if you are like me you will find a way to watch it even if you are not from the USA and don't have access to Freeform. 

What is your favorite tv series? and why? Comment below!

- Cris

It is that time of the year: exchange students started traveling across the world, from Europe to the United States, from the States to South America, and so on. A lot of people will be facing jet-lag, some will handle it better than others, but what should you do when you get up at three or four in the morning and cannot go back to sleep? I personally went to bed at midnight my first day in the States but I still woke up at six a.m. the day after, which was not nice. So I started unpacking and then at eight in the morning I finally decided to go upstairs and see if my host family was up, and, even if it was Sunday, they were. But what if they were still having sweet dreams?

Prepare Breakfast For Your Host Family.

I am sure your host family already showed you where the fridge is and told you to feel like at home, so my suggestion is to prepare breakfast for them. If you do not know what they like in the morning, just prepare something you normally have and tell them that is what you eat in your home country. They will not judge what you made, but will instead thank you for thinking about doing such a thing for them. This way they will see your interest in bonding with them. I am sure that if they host students because they enjoy it, they will appreciate your action.

Do Some Exercise.

I am not a sports lover and I will probably never be, but one of the things you can do early in the morning is working out. You will most likely gain weight in your host country anyway so the best way to "prevent" it is to start doing some exercise for the very beginning. By the time you will be done you will be able to take a shower and go to the kitchen for breakfast.

Read Or Watch TV In Your Host Language.

If you are done with your exercise (or simply skipped it - and that's okay) you can read a book in your host language and underline the words you don't know so that you can look them up afterward. If you are not a book lover and prefer to watch tv, do so. Turn it on and put subtitles in your host language so that way you will hear it but also read it. It will help you a lot and you will improve in a very short period of time.

Write A Letter To Yourself.

This may sound a bit stupid, but it is actually nice in the long run. Write down everything that comes to your mind. I mean, you are in your host country and still have the whole experience in front of you: write down what your feelings are, what your expectations are, what your level in your host language is and what you wish to achieve before the end of your year abroad. A year later, once you are back home, pull it out and read it. It will be crazy to realize how much you have grown.

Explore The Area Around You.

If you have the chance to, go for a walk. Don't be sitting on your bed just because you don't want to be the weird kid who walks on his own, just go. Imagine this: It is 6 in the morning, the sun is rising, the city is still calm and it is not hot yet: go for a walk. Watch bakers prepare their shop window with fresh bread, postmen riding their bikes and delivering newspapers, elderly people sipping coffee etc. If you are in the United States most of this might not be the case. Usually, the only way a person can get around is by driving a car, and you clearly cannot do that. So consider this idea only if you feel like you can do it. Maybe you can walk around your neighborhood and if you meet a next door fellow just say hi and introduce yourself. That way if they see you going around on your own they will not think a stranger is roaming around their property.

Write An Entry In Your Journal.

I suggest you keep a journal throughout the whole exchange experience because it will be nice to be able to read it again after some time. I wrote an online blog while I was on exchange and I also kept a calendar where I briefly wrote what I did day by day. I have been back from my exchange for two years now and I still open up my agenda sometimes to look at it and see what I was doing the same day two years before. It is also nice because sometimes I forget things and when I read them I am like "I did not remember that at all!".

Do Not Take Day Naps And Stay Up Late.

One of the most common advice people give exchange students is to go to bed when the host family does it, that way they will most likely wake up late and not before their host family. This can be true, but it depends on the situation because as I said earlier I went to bed at midnight and woke up at six. It sure helps not taking naps during the day, if you sleep in the afternoon you will be wide awake by the time everyone goes to bed, and that is not nice, but if it happens just follow some of the advice I gave you earlier! Read a book, watch a series or write a journal.

Read also: MY LAST DAY AS AN EXCHANGE STUDENT.

- Cris

The next phase is a sort of denial, the “life’s perfect, I don’t want to go home, I want to stay in my bubble forever”, where you practical run around singing and dancing in the streets because life is so perfect and every moment can never be ruined or forgotten. You go about your life with a spring in you step, just taking every experience in and sucking in as much as you can. But you’re so in love with life and blinded by that love to see that your bubble will soon pop.

And when that bubble burst and your happiness crumbles it marks the beginning of the next stage “the emotional breakdowns of realisation”, you start to think about when will the next time I do this or see these people again, when will the next time be when I’m in this city again? And the questions begin to clear and crowd your head with realisation. You realise that time is almost gone and there’s nothing you can do about it.  You start to notice yourself doing things for the last time but yet you can still remember doing them for the first, but all becomes so normal to you now. It becomes your daily life, it feels like home, it feels so natural now. But doing those exact same things for the last time makes you stop and think about how far you’ve come. Not knowing when you’ll be back or if you’ll ever meet you host country friends again or exchange student friends and all the heart breaking goodbyes but you never really know when it will be the last time you see them and the uncertainty will eat you away. With every goodbye your heart will break a little and every person will take a little bit back home with them so your heart is spread across the globe and is bigger than ever before.

The last stage is the “dead neutral stage” and not everybody will go through this, some might be torn and others egger for the last day. But to be dead neutral is by fair the worst because you’re so blank and emotionless, that you feel dead. But you’re alive and feeling everything at the same time. Going home is like going insane. Thinking about your home life the previous year leave you feeling hollow and empty because you can’t fill those shoes anymore, they don’t fit you anymore. However, there will be a new pair of shoes for you to fill, ones that you get to mould and create to fit you perfectly.

The final goodbye will make you sick to your stomach and you’ll find yourself waking up panicking because the hallways are too small in this country or you’ve forgotten a word in your host language. It’s the small things that will scare you the most. It’s the goodbyes you didn’t get that to say will eat you away and the hellos of the other side that will cure your heart. Although you’ll never be quite whole again, you find new ways to slowly lose the rest of yourself. But that is what it is to be an exchange student…

- Kat Puchert

How can people decide where they want to spend their whole life if they only lived in one place? How can they say that it is better than other cities? Living in a familiar and safe environment is easy as you don't have to get to know the place, a new language or the local habits.

But what if the whole purpose of life was actually getting to know what is different from us? Isn't it cool to grow as a person and build a career while you learn a new language and hang out with new people? If you ask exchange students, probably 99% of them will tell you that they would do that all over again. Why? Because it is priceless when excitement takes over fear. When at the end of the year they look back at all the things they have done, learned, experienced and seen. They feel richer than ever, sometimes they feel like there isn't more space for more feelings. There aren't more tears for goodbyes. Their heart is torn apart, but they would do it again. In a heart bit.

Every day I find many opportunities abroad and I feel sad because I can't do them all and it is hard to choose. I don't know which one is more valuable, which one is more meaningful to me, which one will lead me to happiness and success. And then I wonder how it is possible that, among all these opportunities, there are still people who complain about their life but do nothing to change it. The average 20-year-old guy constantly complains about social media, how grey his hometown is, or how he doesn't have a future there.. but there he is, still.
When everything seems to be against you, show everyone that you are stronger and try to pursue your dreams, like the young Italian in this short movie who lost his job and moved to the US to continue living.

A few people asked me what to do on their first days abroad and I realized I never wrote anything about that. Now, I start by saying that for me it wasn't hard to be abroad. I was really excited and I didn't feel sad or homesick at all. I was happy to be where I was and I was trying to be as calm as I could about anything. The only thing I can say is that I felt awkward the very first day of school, which wasn't really about classes, it was more about being introduced to teachers, classmates and about attending an assembly in the main gym.

2. DON'T STAY IN YOUR ROOM.

Some of you might feel embarassed of your poor language skills: don't be. Your host family will appreciate you trying to connect with them, regardless your ability to do so: It will get better day by day. Do not stay in your room because you feel out of place, hang out with your family in the living room instead, watch a movie together, go grocery shopping together or get a cup of coffee but do not skype your family back home every day, that won't help you settle.

If you are like me, you don't like sports and prefer to spend time differently, but if you join a team there's a better chance to meet people. I chose to do tennis even tho I wasn't good, I actually got better and I enjoyed experiencing something new.

If someone comes up to you and asks something, don't cut the conversation by simply responding but keep the conversation alive, one thing leads to another and you might end up having lunch together.

Sometimes students don't talk to you because they hang out with the same people and don't see the point of getting to know an exchange student. You gotta show people why you are interesting. Be involved at school, take fun classes and be part of extra activities. The more you are around and the more they will talk to you.

Last but not least, always act like you know what you are doing or what is going on around you. Even if you are a shy person, act like you are an outgoing one. Show your interest on meeting people and people will reach out to you. Don't be the weird guy who says no one talks to him but at the same time doesn't do anything to change the situation. Your fellow students are in their hometown, living their usual life, the exchange student is the person who has to build up his experience.

PS It has already been a year since I came back from exchange, but my host brother came to visit me this summer and we toured Italy together: watch the video!

- Cris